11/18/2008
10/24/2008
10/18/2008
10/15/2008
Finally, some GOOD news about the market…
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Who needs a car? We just need to drink more beer!!!
P.S. You’ll be glad to know that my contributions to my 401-Keg are up 28% this year. Never let it be said that I am not a savvy investor!!!
10/02/2008
9/10/2008
9/02/2008
8/27/2008
Tourists photograph King penguin, Nils Olav, as he walks past soldiers from the Norwegian King's Guard after he received a Knighthood at Edinburgh Zoo August 15, 2008. Edinburgh Zoo penguin Olav has been an honorary member and mascot of the Norwegian King's Guard since the 1980s and was made Honorary Colonel-in-Chief in 2005.
8/12/2008
8/08/2008
8/01/2008
7/28/2008
7/25/2008
Grandma's letter
She is 88 years old and still drives her own car. She writes:Dear Granddaughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus'bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO"!
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience.
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment they got out of their cars and started walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma
7/23/2008
7/19/2008
7/16/2008
What's one your fav old songs?
One of mine is Seger's 'Old Time Rock & Roll'♫ Just take those old records off the shelf
I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself
Today's music ain't got the same soul
I like that old time rock 'n roll
Don't try to take me to a disco
You'll never even get me out on the floor
In ten minutes I'll be late for the door
I like that old time rock 'n roll
Still like that old time rock 'n roll
That kind of music just soothes the soul
I reminisce about the days of old
With that old time rock 'n roll
Won't go to hear them play a tango
I'd rather hear some blues or funky old soul
There's only one sure way to get me to go
Start playing old time rock 'n roll
Call me a relic, call me what you will
Say I'm old-fashioned, say I'm over the hill
Today's music ain't got the same soul
I like that old time rock 'n roll
Still like that old time rock 'n roll
That kind of music just soothes the soul
I reminisce about the days of old
With that old time rock 'n roll ♫
7/15/2008
7/11/2008
7/10/2008
7/07/2008
7/03/2008
6/28/2008
6/27/2008
6/24/2008
6/18/2008
6/17/2008
6/15/2008
6/13/2008
6/11/2008
6/09/2008
6/03/2008
5/27/2008
5/26/2008
5/24/2008
5/21/2008
5/19/2008
5/15/2008
5/14/2008
5/12/2008
5/10/2008
5/09/2008
5/07/2008
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans continued...
Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
5/05/2008
Generation Gap
Baby Boomers - people born between 1945 and 1961.
Generation X - people born between 1962 and 1976.
Generation Y - people born between 1977 and 1989.
Why do we call the last generation Y? I did not know, but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below.
Generation X - people born between 1962 and 1976.
Generation Y - people born between 1977 and 1989.
Why do we call the last generation Y? I did not know, but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below.
5/02/2008
4/30/2008
4/28/2008
4/26/2008
4/23/2008
Oblivious
Family on holiday in Australia for a week and a half when husband, wife and their 15-year-old son decided to go scuba diving. The husband is in the navy and has had some scuba experience. His son wanted a picture of his mum and dad in all their gear so he got the under water camera ready to go. When it came to taking the picture the dad realized that the son looked like he was panicking as he took it and gave the 'OK' hand sign to see if he was all right.
The son took the picture and swam to the surface and back to the boat as quick as he could so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK. When they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat and absolutely panicking. When the parents asked why he said 'there was a shark behind you.' The dad thought he was joking but the skipper of the boat said it was true but they wouldn't believe him. As soon as they got back to the hotel they loaded the picture onto the laptop and this is what they saw.
The son took the picture and swam to the surface and back to the boat as quick as he could so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK. When they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat and absolutely panicking. When the parents asked why he said 'there was a shark behind you.' The dad thought he was joking but the skipper of the boat said it was true but they wouldn't believe him. As soon as they got back to the hotel they loaded the picture onto the laptop and this is what they saw.
4/22/2008
4/18/2008
4/17/2008
4/16/2008
All smiles today!
We all know those cute little computer symbolscalled 'emoticons,' where...
:) means a smile
:( is a frown
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(
Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
Here goes...
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) money coming out of ass
(_?_) dumb ass
Aren't you glad you stopped by today! :~)
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